How to File for Divorce: Steps, Forms & Costs

Divorce is a legal process, and like most legal processes, it has steps you have to follow in a specific order. Miss one, and you either delay the whole thing or have to start over. The good news is that the basic structure is the same across all 50 states: establish residency, file a petition, serve your spouse, negotiate or litigate the terms, and get a judge to sign off. What varies is the timeline, the paperwork, and how much the process costs.

This guide covers how divorce works from start to finish, what you can expect at each stage, and where the process tends to get complicated. If you are just starting out and trying to understand what you are actually getting into, this is the place to start.

Before you file: residency requirements

Every state requires you to have lived there for a minimum period before you can file for divorce in its courts. This is called the residency requirement, and it varies more than most people realize. Some states require as little as six weeks (Nevada is the most well-known example). Most require six months to a year. You generally only need to meet the residency requirement in one state, even if your spouse lives somewhere else.

If you have recently moved, you may need to wait before filing, or consider filing in the state you just left if you still meet its requirements. Filing in the wrong state can get your case dismissed, so this is worth confirming before you do anything else.

California requires six months of state residency plus three months in the county where you plan to file. Texas requires six months in the state and 90 days in the county. Florida requires six months in the state, with no county requirement. New York requires either two years of state residency, or one year if the marriage took place in New York or if both parties lived there at some point during the marriage. Illinois requires 90 days of state residency.

Contested vs. uncontested divorce: the distinction that drives everything

The single biggest factor in how long and expensive your divorce will be is whether it is contested or uncontested.

An uncontested divorce means you and your spouse agree on all the major issues: how to divide property and debts, whether either spouse will pay spousal support (alimony), and if you have children, how custody and child support will work. When both parties agree, the process is largely paperwork. Many uncontested divorces are completed without either spouse hiring an attorney, and online divorce services can walk you through the forms at a fraction of the cost of traditional legal representation.

A contested divorce means you disagree on at least one significant issue. That disagreement goes to a judge, which means attorneys, hearings, and potentially a trial. Contested divorces routinely take one to three years and cost tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees. The more assets involved, the more complicated the custody situation, and the less willing the parties are to negotiate, the longer and more expensive it gets.

Most divorces that start contested eventually settle before trial. The question is how much time and money it takes to get there.

The filing process, step by step

The person who initiates the divorce is called the petitioner. Their spouse is the respondent. The petitioner files a divorce petition (sometimes called a complaint for divorce) with the court in their county, along with a filing fee that typically ranges from $100 to $400 depending on the state. The petition outlines the basic facts of the marriage and what the petitioner is asking for.

After filing, the petitioner must formally serve the respondent with the divorce papers. This is not as simple as mailing them. Most states require personal service by a process server, sheriff, or someone over 18 who is not party to the case. The respondent then has a set period (typically 20 to 30 days) to file a response. If they do not respond, the petitioner may be able to proceed by default and get most or all of what they asked for.

Once both parties have filed, the case enters a waiting period in many states. California has a mandatory six-month waiting period from the date of service before a divorce can be finalized, regardless of how quickly both parties agree on everything. Florida has a shorter waiting period of 20 days. Texas requires 60 days. Illinois has no mandatory waiting period after filing, though the process still takes time. New York eliminated its mandatory waiting period in 2010.

What you actually have to agree on

Before a divorce is finalized, the court needs a resolution on four main issues. In an uncontested divorce, you and your spouse work these out between yourselves and submit a settlement agreement. In a contested divorce, a judge decides what you cannot agree on.

Property division covers everything acquired during the marriage: the house, retirement accounts, investment accounts, vehicles, debts, and business interests. Most states follow equitable distribution, meaning the court divides marital property fairly, which does not necessarily mean 50/50. Nine states (California, Texas, Arizona, Nevada, Washington, Idaho, New Mexico, Wisconsin, and Louisiana) are community property states, where marital assets are generally split equally.

Spousal support (also called alimony) is financial support paid by one spouse to the other after divorce. It is not automatic. Courts consider factors like the length of the marriage, each spouse's income and earning capacity, and the standard of living during the marriage. Short marriages with two employed spouses often result in no spousal support at all.

Child custody covers both legal custody (who makes decisions about the child's education, healthcare, and upbringing) and physical custody (where the child lives). Courts in every state apply a \"best interests of the child\" standard, which weighs factors like each parent's relationship with the child, stability of each home, and the child's own preferences if they are old enough to express them meaningfully.

Child support is calculated using state-specific formulas that factor in each parent's income, the custody arrangement, and the child's needs. The custodial parent typically receives support from the non-custodial parent. These amounts can be modified later if circumstances change significantly.

A real-world example

Teresa and Marcus have been married for nine years in Illinois, own a house together, and have two children. They agree the marriage is over but disagree on who gets the house and how custody will be split. They hire separate attorneys, spend eight months in negotiations, and eventually reach a settlement: Marcus keeps the house and refinances the mortgage into his name, Teresa receives a cash payment equal to her share of the equity, and they share joint legal custody with the children living primarily with Teresa and spending alternating weekends with Marcus. Their attorneys' fees total about $14,000 combined. It is not cheap or fast, but it is significantly less than a full trial would have cost.

Online divorce services: when they work and when they do not

For uncontested divorces with no minor children and relatively straightforward finances, online divorce services can prepare all the required court forms for a few hundred dollars. Nolo's Online Divorce has helped over 850,000 people through this process and generates state-specific forms based on your answers to a guided questionnaire. You still file in court yourself and a judge still signs off, but you avoid attorney fees for the paperwork preparation.

Online services are not the right fit if you have significant assets to divide, a contested custody situation, a spouse who is being uncooperative, or any complexity that requires legal judgment rather than just form-filling. In those cases, an attorney is not a luxury. Mistakes in divorce agreements can be difficult or impossible to fix after the fact.

How long does divorce take, and what does it cost

An uncontested divorce with no complications can be completed in as little as a few months in most states, and sometimes faster. Add a mandatory waiting period (California's six months is the longest), and even a simple divorce takes at least that long. Contested divorces routinely take one to three years from filing to final judgment.

Cost is just as variable. An uncontested divorce using an online service might cost $500 to $1,500 total including court filing fees. A contested divorce with attorneys can run $15,000 to $50,000 or more per spouse, depending on complexity and how long it takes to settle. The single biggest driver of cost is how much time attorneys spend preparing for hearings and trial, which is directly tied to how much the parties disagree.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I file for divorce without an attorney?

Yes. In every state, you have the right to represent yourself in a divorce, which is called proceeding \"pro se.\" For uncontested divorces with straightforward finances and no children, self-representation is common and workable. For contested divorces, especially those involving significant assets, minor children, or an uncooperative spouse, self-representation carries real risk. Divorce agreements are legally binding and hard to modify after the fact, so errors have lasting consequences.

Does it matter who files for divorce first?

In most cases, no. Being the petitioner rather than the respondent does not give you a legal advantage in property division, custody, or support determinations. The main practical difference is that the petitioner controls the timing of when the case is filed and, in some states, gets to present their case first at trial. Neither of those is typically decisive.

What is a no-fault divorce?

A no-fault divorce means neither spouse has to prove the other did something wrong to get a divorce. Every state now allows no-fault divorce, typically on grounds of \"irreconcilable differences\" or \"irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.\" You simply state that the marriage is over and cannot be saved. Fault-based grounds (adultery, abandonment, cruelty) still exist in some states and can occasionally affect alimony determinations, but they are rarely the basis for a modern divorce.

How is a house divided in a divorce?

Options include one spouse buying out the other's share and refinancing the mortgage into their name alone, selling the house and splitting the proceeds, or in some cases with minor children, a deferred sale where one spouse stays in the home until the children finish school. The house cannot simply be \"given\" to one spouse without addressing the mortgage: a lender is not bound by a divorce agreement, and if both names are on the loan, both remain liable until it is refinanced or paid off.

What happens to retirement accounts in a divorce?

Retirement accounts accumulated during the marriage are generally treated as marital property subject to division. Dividing a 401(k) or pension typically requires a special court order called a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO), which instructs the plan administrator to split the account. IRAs can be divided through the divorce decree itself without a QDRO. Done correctly, these transfers are not taxable events. Done incorrectly, the receiving spouse can face significant tax penalties.